The WhiteHack Blog

So we have sixteen “non-housemates”. Its the usual crowd of wannabes, misfit and freaks.

They are:
Angel – professional boxer and artist, bisexual, from Russia
Beinazir – study support assistant, asylum seeker from Pakistan, described herself as an “Alpha female”
Cairon – performing arts student
Charlie – Customer Service Advisor, former Mr. gay UK contestant
Freddie – Entrepreneur (looks like Shaggy), reckons he’s a polymath, doesn’t own a TV, and lives with his parents in a stately home
Karly – Unemployed, FHM High Street honey, her biggest achievement was being accepted into university, she left after three weeks.
Sophie – Glamour model – wants to be Paris Hilton, was asked what is the capital of Uraguay – she replied “U”, “Sophie says that she’d make a good “president” of England because everyone would listen to her.” President of England? Really? Has education dropped this far?
Kris – Visual Merchandiser
Lisa – Unemployed, “She enjoys flirting with both sexes and would love to “turn” Angelina Jolie” – does she not realise that a strong breeze could turn Angelina? Lesbian, not surprisingly.
Marcus – Window fitter – looks like the bastard offpsring of Wolverine and Billy Ray Cyrus – he has a mullet!
Noirin – Retail Manager
Rodrigo – Student, from Brazil, bisexual
Saffia – Beauty consultant, “Single Saffia said that she considered turning lesbian because she is sick of men”
Siavash – Events organiser – looks like Roy Wood from Wizard, from Iran, has a small penis
Sophia – Private Banking Assistant, suffered from Lupus. Does no-one learn frm House? ITS NEVER LUPUS.
Sree – student, “His main ambition is to be an actor or Prime Minister”

Again we have a good example of the demographic of the UK. If that demographic was made of students, unemployed people and no one lived to the age of 40. Given some of the housemates, if they do live to be 30 I’d be surprised, Sophie looks like she needs someone to remind her to keep breathing. She’s a complete oxygen thief.

Catch the updates on Digital Spy, or alternatively do something interesting that does not require watching the worlds most bland TV show that should have ended at season 2.

If Grosse Pointe Blank has taught us anything, its that “You can never go home again”. The same is true regarding childhood. Once you leave childhood, seeing the same things again does not have the same effect as it once did.

And there are reasons for this, well, culprits would closer. The people we once admired and heralded as the saviours of our formative years are the same ones that have now taken a giant dump on our childhood. And as if that was not bad enough, they’ve rubbed it in our faces to make sure we get the message.

I am sure this list will be different for everyone. But here are the people that have put the final knife in the child that was within me.
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My disliking of this douchebag increases everyday.

Now he reckons that his life is in danger, his old haunts are “not safe”, and he is better known than that vapid attention seeking moron Jordan.

DJ Scott Mills (Radio 1) asked him about the stars he’s met and Talent could “only offer former East 17 singer Brian Harvey and Andy Lysandrou of garage band True Steppers“.

Bwahahahaha, so he is deluded as well as stupid. Awesome.

Read the Sun article here

I must admit I do enjoy Britain’s Got Talent. It serves to show that there are a few nuggets of hope out there, it’s good for a laugh and it’s entertaining. What I fail to understand though is how someone like DJ Talent can get put through.

He looks like the simple love child of Goldie and the retarded shop assistant from “Hot Fuzz” and he sounds equally thick. Seriously he should concentrate more on making sure that he keeps the crayon scrawl within the lines of his Doctor Who coloring book, than actually thinking that he has a future a a rapper.

If he does get to play in front of Her Majesty I can picture her turning round to Philip and asking “Philip, who is this retard, please have him shot”.

It’s Kelly Brook I feel sorry for. He asked her out for a “salad”, which the fat fool that is DJ Talent could do with, but bless Miss Brook, even her bad acting does not condemn her to a sentence of looking after a candidate for care in the community.

I am sure they only voted in favor of him because they have an evil streak, and Piers Morgan’s attempt to be “street” was just fucking painful.

If DJ Talent wanted to be credible he should have come on stage, introduced himself as DJ Special Needs and dribbled for two minutes. Instead he is now deluded into thinking he has a future.

What’s more worrying is that people might actually buy his cd.

People are stupid.

It was so bad that I did not even watch the third part, although I was a big fan of Red Dwarf in its hey-day, this long awaited return did not even raise one chuckle. It was bad. Almost as bad as “The Spirit”, a film that served one purpose, and one purpose alone, to prove the old adage that “you can’t polish a turd”. I walked out on The Spirit after twenty minutes. Shame on you Frank Miler, shame. Even Samuel L. Jackson failed to make that film any good, and he can normally bring anything up to a decent level.

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